


ghostin

by loverslane



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Slow Burn, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loverslane/pseuds/loverslane
Summary: “i know that it breaks your heart when i cry again, over him”In which Cyrus is lost and confused and TJ is there with him every step of the way.





	1. Chapter 1

  
  
_I_ _know_ _you_ _hear_ _me_ _when_ _I_ _cry_.   
  
    “Can you just talk to me, Jonah?” Cyrus begged as he was following Jonah as they were walking home from school. He didn’t understand what was happening. He and Jonah had been hanging out a lot for the past few weeks. The two boys were getting closer than ever and their connection made Cyrus realize things he didn’t know before.   
  
    This is the thing, just a couple days ago the two boys shared a kiss. It was one short and simple kiss but, it caused a lot of chaos. Too much chaos in Cyrus’ opinion.   
  
    “There isn’t anything to talk about.” Jonah spat as he attempted to walk home faster.   
  
    Cyrus couldn’t help but frown. How could there not be anything to talk about? Cyrus kissed Jonah, who’s a boy, and was so confused about it. Cyrus was a whirlwind of emotions and all he needed to do was talk about them with Jonah.   
  
    “Yes, there is. We kissed Jonah and you need to stop acting as nothing happened.” Cyrus felt his eyes water up and blinked, trying to hold them in. He didn’t want to cry. Especially in front of Jonah.   
  
    Jonah stopped on the steps in front of his house. “Cyrus, it was one kiss. It meant nothing. I’m sorry.” He quickly opened the door and entered his house, leaving poor Cyrus outside all alone.   
  
    Cyrus felt his throat clench. His eyes threatening to just release a stream of tears any second. He couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his friend’s mouth. Did it mean nothing? Oh, how Cyrus wanted to disappear. If only he could close his eyes and count to three and everything would just go away.   
  
\-   
  
    “Cyrus!”   
  
    Cyrus blinked. He looked up to meet his friend's eyes. Except this wasn’t Jonah. It was TJ. Cyrus internally cringed. He was thinking about Jonah again. He’s supposed to be studying with TJ and instead he’s focusing on Jonah. He was embarrassed.   
  
    “I’m sorry.” Cyrus quickly muttered. TJ just chuckled.   
  
    “You’ve been daydreaming a lot lately. Usually, you’re very into the usual study session but, today? Not so much.” TJ said, glancing at Cyrus with a bit of concern.   
  
    Cyrus bit his lip. This is the thing. He hasn’t told anyone a thing about his situation with Jonah. He hasn’t even told anyone about the grand discovery of his sexuality. Truth was, Cyrus was ashamed.   
  
    In fact, Cyrus felt guilty for even being ashamed in the first place. He knew coming out was easier than it was 10 years ago but, he was still extremely frightened about it. How would his family feel? How would his friends feel? Cyrus looked up at TJ. How would TJ feel? Cyrus was really scared of his opinion. You see, Cyrus and TJ are the most unlikely pair of friends. It shocked basically everyone seeing the two hang out. Even Cyrus questions why TJ befriended him. TJ is the captain of the basketball team which means he’s very popular. Cyrus? He hangs out with the same three people every day and pretty much keeps to himself.   
  
    The two met when Cyrus’ friend Buffy tried out for the basketball team. Now, TJ wasn’t exactly the nicest to Buffy. He’d constantly bring her down about being the only girl in the team and how she wasn’t good enough. Buffy would complain about his every day during lunch to Andi and Cyrus. Cyrus, of course, decided to defend his friend and intervened into the situation. It was a messy situation but, the outcome was great. Buffy and TJ were fine and Cyrus gained a new friend.   
  
    “Cyrus?” Cyrus heard TJ say for the second time that evening. He looked up again. “You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you. I just wanna know if you’re okay.”   
  
    “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” Cyrus quickly grabbed his pen and looked down on his paper. “Let’s get back to this we shouldn’t be backtracking.” He knew TJ wouldn’t believe him but, he really didn’t want to talk about how he was feeling.   
  
    TJ just nodded and went back to work deciding to leave the situation alone and God was Cyrus grateful for that.   
  
    Cyrus looked down at his work and attempted to continue looking at his review sheet for English class. As hard as he tried he couldn’t focus one bit. How could he? Jonah’s words were still engraved in his mind. Nothing. The kiss meant nothing. Cyrus didn’t know what he was supposed to do about it. He couldn’t exactly just move on and forget about it. He kissed one of his best friends and he couldn’t even talk about it with anyone. Cyrus could feel TJ’s eyes on him again but, to his relief, TJ wasn’t saying a word.   
  
    After five minutes of silence, TJ spoke up once again.   
  
    “How about we take a break, alright? I’m kind of tired anyway.” Cyrus sighed and was glad TJ didn’t press on the issue again.   
  
    “Yeah. That’d be great.” He put all of his papers away and got up from TJ’s bed.   
  
    “My mom should be home soon. How about we watch a movie meanwhile we wait?” TJ suggested.   
  
    “Sure,” Cyrus smiled and followed TJ out of his room and into the living room. They settled onto the couch as TJ grabbed the remote and put on a movie. Of course, Cyrus really wasn’t paying attention. He just couldn’t help but think of Jonah. He wanted to slap himself for continuing to think of the boy when he’s supposed to be hanging out with his friend. His stomach churned and he really just wanted to go home and cry himself to sleep. He didn’t understand why things had to be so complicated. If Jonah and he could just talk and sort their feelings out he’d feel so much better but, since his last encounter with Jonah, he isn’t really to ecstatic to reach out to him.   
  
    Cyrus felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out hoping it was Jonah. It’s wasn’t. It was his mom asking if he was going to spend dinner at TJ’s.   
  
    “Would you like me to stay for dinner?” Cyrus turned and TJ who’s eyes were focused on the screen shifted his focus to him.   
  
    “Yeah! I’m pretty sure my mom is making lasagna tonight and it’s pretty amazing.” TJ said giving Cyrus a soft smile.   
  
    Cyrus nodded and texted his mom. As he pressed send he couldn’t help but to go back and stare at Jonah’s contact. Oh, how he wanted to just send a text so badly. Cyrus hated how desperate he became over this. He was sure he had feelings for Jonah. He always did he just didn’t exactly know what they meant. Sexuality was never something Cyrus thought he’d have trouble figuring out. So when Jonah made him feel all giddy inside he assumed it was just the fact that Jonah is really popular and charming. Not that he liked him. Their short kiss confirmed everything for him and if could just figure out what to do next he was sure he’d be okay. Right now? Not so much. At least he still had his other friends. He wanted to tell them but, he also didn’t. The thought of sitting his best friends, Buffy and Andi, down and telling them he likes a boy? It sounded like the most frightening thing in the world to him. Just thinking of it gave him sweaty palms.   
  
    “I’m going to the restroom,” Cyrus said and quickly got up. He went straight to the restroom and rinsed his face with cold water. This is what people did in the movies, right? Cyrus looked at himself and groaned. It didn’t solve anything. Now his face is wet for no reason and he’s still miserable. He grabbed a towel and dried his face off. He grabbed his phone and went onto Instagram. The first thing that popped up was a picture of Jonah. Jonah had posted a selfie of him just smiling with a positive caption. Cyrus didn’t get it. Why did he seem so happy? How is this all not bothering him? Just seeing Jonah smile made Cyrus tear up. This time he didn’t hold back. He began crying silently in TJ’s bathroom. He should be embarrassed. He usually is but this time his emotions were too much to even think about that.   
  
    Jonah should be sad too. Jonah should be questioning everything. Jonah should want to talk to Cyrus about it. Yet he didn’t. Cyrus let himself cry for two minutes and realized he still had to go out and hang out with TJ. He looked into the mirror and saw his own puffy red eyes. TJ is definitely going to know he was crying. He attempted to rinse his face again but, it didn’t help. He gave up on fixing his face and went back outside. He sat down on the couch again and felt TJ stare at him.   
  
    “Are you sure you’re okay Cyrus?” TJ asked.   
  
    “No, but I will be.” He looked at TJ and attempted to give him a smile. TJ returned his own pity smile.   
  
    “You know I’m always here to talk, right?”   
  
    “Yeah, I know. Just not yet. Okay?”   
  
    TJ nodded and gave Cyrus a reassuring look. Cyrus decided he’d tell his friends one day. Just not today.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t know if any of you care but uh i made a tumblr! its xtyrus.tumblr.com if any of you care to follow me ((:

  _i try to hold it in at night when you’re sleeping next to me_   
  
    Cyrus was dreading going to school that morning. It’d be the first day of school since the whole Jonah incident happened. It was safe to say he had never wanted to avoid a situation more than this. He considered pretending to be sick but, he was an awful liar and couldn’t stand the thought of lying to his parents.    
  
    He spent about 10 minutes standing on his front porch struggling to even start his walk to school. He’d attempt to take a step only for his thoughts to be filled with pure negativity. After fighting with his mind back and forth he made his way to school.    
  
    When he got there he was a bit conflicted. He usually began looking for Andi and Buffy immediately but, he was scared that they’d already be grouped up with Jonah. Just the thought of seeing Jonah today made his blood run cold. He made his way towards his locker only to see Andi and Buffy already there waiting for him. Thankfully, no Jonah.   
  
    “Hey!” He heard Andi say cheerfully as she walked up to Cyrus as soon as he was in her eyesight. Buffy following behind quickly and smiled at Cyrus.    
  
    Seeing his two best friends did make Cyrus feel better. Just seeing the sight of Andi’s bright smile made him want to tell her everything but, he knew he shouldn’t. He wasn’t even sure of the situation himself. How would Andi or Buffy know? He put it to the side and focused on the two girls standing in front of him.   
  
    “Hello!” Cyrus attempted to sound cheerful but, he had to admit it sounded awfully forced. He hoped they wouldn’t notice.   
  
    “You seem weird,” Buffy commented. Cyrus internally groaned remembering how blunt she was. “Well, not as weird as Jonah.”   
  
    That caught Cyrus’ attention. “What? Why? What happened?”   
  
    “He kind of just ignored us this morning. He didn’t even bother saying hi. He just saw us and left.” Andi explained.    
  
    “That’s weird,” Cyrus said attempting to be nonchalant. If the girls noticed he was being strange they didn’t really bother commenting.    
  
    “Yeah, probably just avoiding some dumb confrontation like always.” Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. Andi stifled a giggle and Cyrus forced himself to laugh. “Anyway let’s get going. I don’t need my first-period teacher to get upset at me being late again.”   
  
    Cyrus and Andi agreed and the three all went their separate ways.   
  
    Cyrus liked his first-period class. It was English and it was primarily an easy class. He also sat next to TJ so, he was never lonely in that class.   
  
    Once he arrived he smiled seeing TJ scrolling through his phone ignoring everyone else. TJ never really cared for school. His main focus was basketball so, he’d agree to the occasional study session with Cyrus so he’d have passible grades in order to remain on the team.   
  
    He quickly took his seat next to TJ who immediately looked away from his phone and gave Cyrus a big smile.   
  
    “Cyrus! Hows it goin’?”   
  
    “Decent, I guess. Slightly better than before yet, also worse?” He shrugged.    
  
    TJ scrunched up his nose. “Sorry man. You’ll be fine I’m sure. Hey! You still sleeping over tonight?”   
  
    Cyrus mentally facepalmed. He totally forgot he made plans with TJ last week to sleepover at his house. He considered backing out for a second but, he realized maybe hanging out with someone who isn’t really associated with Jonah would make him feel better.   
  
    “Yeah. I just need to stop by my place. I forgot to pack my stuff. Totally slipped my mind this morning.”    
  
    TJ chuckled. “Look at you not being prepared for once. Where’s the Cyrus I know?”   
  
    Cyrus rolled his eyes and slightly shoved TJ telling him to be quiet since their lesson was starting.    
  
-   
  
    As the bell rung during Cyrus’ third period telling him it was over and lunch was starting, his nerves hit him all over again. Jonah clearly wasn’t going to sit with them and he didn’t want to hear Andi and Buffy go on about it.    
  
    He grabbed his belongings and dragged his feet the whole way to the cafeteria, looking down until he heard his friends’ cheery voices calling his name.   
  
    “Cyrus! You would not believe the ridiculous pop quiz we had to take today!” Andi exclaimed as she grabbed Cyrus’ arm and dragged him into the cafeteria.    
  
    “Ms. Wright always feels the need to give us unnecessary assignments I’m not really surprised,” Cyrus said eyeing the gunk they called lunch that they were serving today.   
  
    “It was still awful.” Andi scrunched up her nose also disgusting by their lunch. She grabbed a tray anyway. “Then she acts shocked when almost everyone fails.”   
  
    Buffy nodded in agreement. “Let’s just sit down. I don’t think I’m in the mood for sludge today. Cyrus didn’t argue. He wasn’t really in the mood to eat.   
  
    The trio went on to sit at their usual table. Cyrus noticed Andi immediately looking around the cafeteria as if she was looking for somebody.   
  
    “Where’s Jonah? Is he seriously avoiding us? I don’t recall any of us doing something to piss him off.” Cyrus watched as Andi had a sad look on her face as she stretched out her neck to look over his shoulder. He knew it was pointless. Jonah wouldn’t get near him today.   
  
    “Maybe he’s in the nurse? He didn’t look good this morning, he’s probably just sick or something.” Buffy had pulled out her notebook and began drawing some sketches. Cyrus loved Buffy’s drawings. She never took the time to make something complex or even make it take up more than two inches of her page. She mostly doodled and Cyrus admired the simplicity of it for some reason.   
  
    “Yeah... I heard the flu has been going around. He probably just caught it or something.” Cyrus said.   
  
    “Makes sense. I just wish he told us something rather than having us sit here like idiots looking for him.”   
  
    “Correction. You. If he’s not going to show up I’m not wasting my time looking for him. That was all you.” Buffy teased Andi. Andi rolled her eyes and shoved a stale fry into her mouth regretting it immediately. “I don’t know why I continue giving our school lunch a chance it’s always awful.”   
  
    Cyrus chuckled and looked up and accidentally made eye contact with TJ. TJ smiled immediately and gave a little wave to Cyrus. Cyrus smiled back. TJ always sat with his athletic friends and it honestly intimidated Cyrus. A group of boys who were taller and stronger than him was slightly terrifying. He knew they’d never do anything to hurt him but, he still could never imagine himself willingly hanging out with the entire group.   
  
    Buffy noticed Cyrus staring off and turned around. “Ah, TJ Kippen. The best character development of the year.”   
  
    “It’s really weird knowing he was probably one of the schools biggest bullies not that long ago. You turned him soft Cyrus.” Andi said also turning around to sneak a glance.   
  
    “He changed all by himself really. I was just there to watch.” Cyrus smiled now becoming excited to hang out with him later letting the thought of Jonah slip his mind.   
  
-   
  
    The final bell finally rang and Cyrus let out a huge sigh of relief. He walked out of his class and went straight towards his locker to retrieve his belongings only to see TJ was already leaning against it waiting for him.   
  
    TJ immediately looked up and noticed Cyrus and smiled. “Hey! C’mon man grab your things so we can start heading to my place.”   
  
    “You’re out early,” Cyrus said as TJ moved away from his locker so he could open it.   
  
    “Yeah, I finished my work a little early and was actually allowed to leave five minutes before the bell. Studying is really paying off dude.” TJ let out a sigh of relief.   
  
    “Well, I’m glad! I told you that you could do it.” Cyrus gave TJ a soft smile as he grabbed his belongings. “Okay, I got my stuff let’s go.”   
  
    TJ nodded and started walking towards the school’s exit and Cyrus followed suit. TJ was quiet until they reached outside and looked over at TJ and smiled mischievously. Cyrus looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow until TJ decided to randomly exclaim, “Race you to my house dude!”    
  
    TJ ran off before Cyrus could reply. Cyrus groaned and attempted to run after TJ but, his athletic ability definitely could not match TJ’s and he was very behind. TJ’s house wasn’t even very far but, Cyrus really hated running.   
  
    The boys reached the house in no more than five minutes. TJ was laughing as he reached the front steps of his house and turned around to see Cyrus about ten feet away. Cyrus gave up on running and just went on with walking. When he reached TJ he immediately gave him a glare.   
  
    “No fair. I hate running plus you have the endurance of a cheetah. I can barely handle a simple jog from my front door to the sidewalk.” Cyrus said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, panting.   
  
    TJ just laughed in response. “You’re too funny.” He softly punched Cyrus’ shoulder and went on to open his front door. They were greeted with Amber painting her toenails in the living room.   
  
    She looked up at the sound of the door and smiled. “Hey, Cyrus! Spending the night again?” She said as she observed his duffle bag. Cyrus just nodded in response. “Good. You’re the only friend TJ has who I actually like.   
  
    “Shut up,” TJ mumbled, looking bothered. “My other friends aren’t that bad.” Amber scoffed in response and got up.    
  
    “I have homework. See you later Cyrus.” She grabbed her nail polishes and ran upstairs.   
  
    TJ threw his backpack onto the couch and took a seat.   
  
    “Are you alright?” Cyrus asked noticing TJ’s face was still scrunched up from Amber’s comment.   
  
    “Yeah... I just don’t understand why everyone thinks my friends are such jerks. They don’t really do much yet, everyone swears I pick the worst people to be friends with.” He paused. “Besides you of course.”   
  
    “Well, they’re just very intimidating. People tend to confuse that with terrifying or rude.” Cyrus said taking a seat next to TJ.   
  
    “I guess you’re right. I just wish people could see I’m actually not an idiot who falls into bad friendship groups. I have potential you know.”   
  
    “I know you do,” Cyrus said and TJ smiled. They stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds before TJ’s eyes suddenly lit up.   
  
    “I just remembered! Amber and my mom bought a bunch of random cake mix boxes yesterday. How about we try and make a cake and hopefully don’t burn the house down.” TJ grinned.   
  
    Cyrus knew his baking abilities weren’t exactly the best and he didn’t have any experience with TJ’s baking but, it was worth a shot. He nodded and TJ smiled immediately getting up and going to the kitchen.   
  
    Cyrus watched as TJ gathered everything they would need and laid it down on the counter.   
  
    “How’s Funfetti? Feels like nobody can go wrong with Funfetti.” TJ picked up the cake mix box showing it to Cyrus.   
  
    “Yeah sure,” Cyrus said looking over all the ingredients and materials. “Are you like good at this or at least decent?”   
  
    TJ furrowed his brows and laughed. “Dude, it's a premade box that requires three more ingredients. You can’t exactly go wrong with good ol’ cake mix.”   
  
   “You’d be surprised. I pretty much mess up a lot of things.”   
  
    “You’ll be a fine man. I know what I’m doing.” TJ said as he opened up the box and began assembling.   
  
    Cyrus pretty much just watched and handed things to him whenever he asked for it. He decided he didn’t want to risk ruining the whole thing as much as TJ said it was easy. He watched as TJ poured the mix into a cake pan. The whole thing was oddly domestic. Cyrus always looked as TJ as an athletic jock with a strong front. Watching him bake a cake was the complete opposite of the image of TJ he had in his head.   
  
    TJ placed the pan into the oven and smiled proudly once he closed it. “That needs about 25 minutes. We should start doing our homework meanwhile.”   
  
   -   
  
     The rest of the afternoon passed by pretty quickly. From studying to watching tv and messily assembling the cake they made. Well, that TJ made. Once they got the warning from TJ’s mom that it was still a school night and they should get to bed they listened immediately and ran up to TJ’s room.   
  
    “I’m surprisingly exhausted. You sure you’re comfortable on that air mattress? You can take my bed.” TJ watched as Cyrus fluffed his pillow before laying on it.   
  
    “I’m fine. Thanks.” Cyrus smiled at TJ who returned it immediately and laid down.   
  
    “Goodnight man.” TJ turned over and Cyrus couldn’t see his face anymore.   
  
    Cyrus wasn’t tired yet. He tossed and turned for a couple of minutes until he accepted that he just wasn’t going to sleep yet. Without TJ there to distract him from his thoughts he became wrapped up in his head again.   
  
    All Cyrus could see in his mind was Jonah Jonah Jonah. He wished the kiss had never happened. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could and kept repeating it to himself hoping he’d wake up and everything would be okay again. He felt his eyes begin to water and he scolded himself. He was tired of crying over this. His sniffled and let out a big sigh. He hoped TJ was asleep so he wouldn’t hear him.   
  
    TJ. Cyrus wondered how TJ was to react if he told him he liked boys. Cyrus didn’t know how TJ felt about boys liking boys and such. Would he automatically assume Cyrus had a crush on him like he’s seen in most popular media? He hoped not. He didn’t even really plan on telling TJ but, he had a gut feeling he would end up telling him eventually. Not now though. He hasn’t even told his best friends.    
  
    Cyrus heard TJ stifle a cough and he froze up. TJ was most likely awake and here Cyrus was crying. He hoped TJ wouldn’t get up and ask him what was wrong. He heard TJ move a bit, adjusting his position.   
  
    Cyrus held his breath waiting for TJ to say something but, he never did. Cyrus waited five minutes before wiping away his tears with the heels of his hands and pulled his blanket up to his chin attempting to finally sleep.   
  



End file.
